THE WOMEN'S CENTER, INC.

610 SOUTH THOMPSON STREET  

CARBONDALE, IL 62901

1-800-334-2094

24-HOUR CRISIS HOTLINE

1-800-334-2094

24-hour Hotline

Myths vs. Truths about Domestic Violence

 

Myth: Batterers are young and immature. They'll grow out of it.

Truth: Batterers are all ages. They do not ''grow out of it.'' Instead, they become more abusive, more violent over time. They freely choose to be violent and stay that way to gain power and control over another person.

 

Myth: Batterers are mentally ill or uncontrollably angry.

Truth: Batterers abuse family members but usually no one outside of their family. If mental illness or uncontrollable anger were the cause, it is unlikely the same target would be singled out.

 

Myth: Domestic violence incidents usually involve alcohol or substance abuse.

Truth: Some batterers abuse alcohol and drugs, however, there are many men/women who abuse alcohol and drugs but never abuse their partner or their children.

 

Myth: Batterers have not learned to cope with stress and domestic violence stops when coping mechanisms are learned.

Truth: Batterers and society use this myth to excuse violent behavior and to make the victim believe the abuser didn't really mean to do it, and the victim pushed him/her over the edge pushed the right button. Truth is he/she chose to be violent.

 

Myth: Batterers come from middle or lower income families; and more domestic violence occurs during hot weather.

Truth: Domestic violence occurs in upper income, affluent families as often as in other families. Shelters report that weather has no effect on the number of domestic violence incidents.

 

Myth: Women do not want police protection.

Truth: Women fear their abuser and are likely to publicly protect the abuser from the police because of that fear.

 

Myth: Women must like the abuse, why else would they stay.

Truth: No one likes being abused. A person trying to get out of an abusive relationship faces many barriers to leaving such as economic dependence, fear, religious beliefs, loss of father to the children, and feelings of love and responsibility for the abuser.